Though I have been here a few years,
I set up this alternate glitter Id a while back, because my SO sometimes checks to see what I post on glitter.
There are quite a few things that are a problem, but I will stick to the main one for now:
He is a heavy drinker and for many reasons, it is making me miserable. We have known each other for at least 7 years, so this is nothing new, but when we met he was in his partying phase (I took that for what it was)
When we later got together I know he must have toned down the drinking alot, and even not needed it. He would stay at my place for days at a time and there was not sign of the behavior to follow.
Since we have lived together and later got married (about 4 years) things have become really hard to take. I wouldn't go as far as to say he's a full-blown alcoholic as he doesn't get drunk and get beat me or anything. (well, I would, but he disagrees, though we have discussed it and on a few rare occassions he has admitted he has a problem -all other times he denies it and tries to make me look crazy for suggesting it.)
There have been fights and a few yelling matches, but mostly what bothers me is his obnoxious behavior when he has been drinking and the way it takes over from normal life. Example: Last night I came home late and he was passed out on the couch with drool running down his face onto the cushions. There were beer cans and empty glasses etc. No big deal, once or twice but it is when he does this many times, with all the lights on and Tv blaring all night, and doors to the house unlocked in a seedy neighborhood, it worries me.
He has been out drinking a few times and almost got into fights.
The people he hangs out with from work don't get to see the full story. They just think he is the "happy drunk" and life of the party. But I am the one he comes home to and has to deal with the consequences and unpleasant behavior.
Today, I stayed home to try and clean our "outside room" and laundry area.
This is of the subject of our most recent big fight: I have asked him numerous times to help me clean and organize it because there is furniture and such I cannot move, and he says it is all my mess because my craft stuff and other things are stored there.
All I have done in the past hour, is pick up his beer cans and empty cig. boxes, that are scattered everywhere, as well as tobacco out of the dryer from when he put a whole pack of smokes in the wash by mistake. Many of the pieces of "evidence" are hidden away in boxes which he stuffs behind and inside things so I won't find them in the trash.
Then, I open a cupboard that we haven't touched since we moved almost a year ago and there was another empty rum bottle stashed behind some rags. This is not a one-off. I find these things all over the house in weird hiding places, behind furniture, in the computer room in bags, behind the couch and more.
He also lies compulsively about going to the bar after work, saying he's working late.
I know I am not perfect by far, but i have tried to address this in different ways, and i feel it is hopeless.
I can't even think of what advice to ask for, because of course, it's hard to give the full picture, but still, thanks for letting me vent, if you have made it this far.