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Topic Should i stay or should i go... Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By AirForceLady On 04/05/04  

My supervisor has mentioned that if someone goes for me to the necessary people, i can separate and still have my Montgomery GI Bill benefits. I don't want to be in the military anymore...

Sorry i'm dumping all of this on y'all...

By anniebeegoode On 04/05/04  

it's hard to know what to say without more info. why do you want to leave? what are the benefits of staying? of leaving? any negative consequences you should consider? do you have another career plan?

By invisilurker On 04/05/04  

If you're unhappy, then don't stay.
It will just turn into you being there because you have to, and you probably won't do as good as say, someone who actually loves it.
Get out while you can.

By lizzymahoney On 04/05/04  

What does this entail, Clay? I don't read most of the msgs in la vida, so maybe I missed something.

Do you need to leave because the air force isn't a good fit for you or because of pressures apart from that, like family or health? If you can tough it out at all, that's probably the best bet for now. Builds character and all of that. You've certainly heard all of the reasons for it.

If you still need to leave, does the retention of benefits mean that your separation papers won't carry any stigma that may affect future employers' decisions to hire you?

It's probably hard to be crafty and be in the military simultaneously. I know you like beading at least and I doubt you've had much opportunity for that lately.

Is there anything that could make it tolerable for you now? Do you need a creative outlet in the military, or maybe a change of locale or surrounding faces? Would talking to a chaplain help?

My heart's with you, girl. Keep us up to date.

By loulou On 04/05/04  

Did you join with the intent of making it a career or as a way to pay for college? How much time do you have left on your commitment? Will this affect your vet status at all?

I knew a lot of people who took early outs when they were offered, since the only reason they'd joined was for the college money and they'd already contributed enough to get the max benefits. If you really don't want to be in anymore, and have never been in it for the long haul, I'd say go for it. If you consideredd the AF as a career or 20 year commitment, that's a different sort of decision and I think you have to really consider that for yourself.

Good luck.

By crazybones On 04/06/04  

I know two people who did this, and there was no stigma associated with them at all. I think the discharge was "failure to adapt", which is not a dishonorable discharge. There's a cutoff date after which you can keep your benefits (I think it's 15 months or something) and after that, a medical or regular discharge just lets you out, but doesn't hurt you.

Might be a good idea for you to start saving money now, and you could probably cash in your terminal leave.

By baby raptor On 04/06/04  

im really terribly sorry to hijack this, but my emails to you bounce back for some reason....any update on sending out the stuff from the trade from about a year ago? i wouldnt post this here but i havent seen you on the boards as much and emails being cranky....thanks

By mystril On 04/06/04  

Do you know what you want to do instead of the military? Like which college you want to go to? Or where you'd like to work or live? Start thinking about that before you make your decision.

I mean, get yourself out of there because you aren't happy and it isn't working for you, but try to figure out where you want to go next.

I'm more sorry than I can say that this is happening to you because I remember how excited you were to join the military and I'm sorry it didn't turn out the way you wanted.


By valagator On 04/06/04  

You never really provide much background for many of your posts..... so I am going to assume this has to do with the weighing issue. I know several people who were in the air force and one person in particular that had weight issues. He ended up screwing up his metabolism and starving himself to meet thier requirements. The doctors there even would screw up his hieght on charts and that would set into motion a bunch of problems.

If this is indeed what is getting you upset and making you want to leave, you need to judge for yourself what is most important. Your health, or some beuracratic hieght /weight requirement.

By AirForceLady On 04/06/04  

On the what i'm going to do and where:
At this point, i'm going to go to college somewhere in New Mexico (cause i love this state), find somewhere reasonably artsy/artist friendly to work, and get my degree to be a teacher.

To BabyRaptor: I put my work email in my profile, send me an email there and i'll give you the details.

By mystril On 04/06/04  

Then do it. I don't foresee any problems, except any possible difficulties in actually getting out of the Air Force, but if your supervisor thinks you can do it and since you really aren't thriving there, then you'll be better off finding someplace where you can be happy.

I know I don't know that much about your situation, but my only concern was that you were going to leave the Air Force without getting the benefits you deserve, particularly the GI BIll, and that you were going to get stuck in an awful job like the one you had before you joined up. And that was why I made a point of noting that you needed to figure out your next steps before you made the decision.

Good luck!


ETA: You might get a kick out of this Web site:

By AirForceLady On 04/06/04  

The quick background:
Since i've joined the military, i've been pretty much miserable. I still do my job the best i can, but between the stress level, fitness standards, deploying/worrying about deploying, etc, it's been getting to me and i end up exhausted and cranky nearly every day. I thought it was BMT stress, then that i was getting sick of tech turns out that it's the military in general.
One of the really big things it that i hate being observed constantly. You're always watched.

And on a superficial level...I want to go to college and wear pjs to class and whatever jewelry i want! And glittery hair stuff!

By MlleEmily On 04/06/04  

Hmmm, it sounds like your life-goals and what makes you happy are pretty much antithetical to military life! I wouldn't see it as a failure, just something your tried and didn't like as much as you thought you might- gee, lot's of people have that happen in life, many times!

You might wanna wiegh you options for a little while, just to make sure you're not screwing yourself out of any benefits you could get if you just held on for a few more months or so. If you could see that the end was in sight, then you might be able to steel yourself for a few more months of it.

Having not much military knowledge myself, I don't know what deployment means- but I'm thinking it's like going off to war? Like possibly this current one in Iraq? And if that's a real possibility, and you know you do not want to fight, then run, don't walk, to go get your discharge ASAP!

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