Saturday I was at Wal-Mart (I know, but it's only like a twice yearly thing for me) as part of my suburbia craft-shopping expedition and heard the following over the store intercom:

"If there's a customer in the store that lost their teeth, they have been found and are at the customer service desk."

It was SO hard to not burst out laughing. You gotta feel really sorry for the person who lost their teeth in Wal-Mart.

Anyone else overheard anything great lately?

Well,sort of....! There was a slow day at school a few days ago and two of my classmates were pretending to construct a poofy-looking hairdo at the station next to mine. The girl in the seat was making stuff up to sound snooty and she finished a sentence with: ..."and put some huge muffs over these !" while pointing to her ears. We all practically died laughing when she looked really embarrassed for a second. ( Not the most "professional" terminology,I know .) Good times.

Also at Walmart, "look Shirl, they got them Atkins candy bars!" He then loaded 6 boxes into his cart. Maybe I'm missing something but when did wolfing down candy bars ever help anyone lose weight or get healthy?

Several years ago when I was in college there was a really awesome buck fifty show, and while my bf was going to get us drinks and snackies I overheard the worst conversation going on behind me.

Seems that directly behind me was a guy with two women ..one on each side of him.... seems he was dumping one of them and was telling her that she was just not good enough for him..... right in front of the other... it was painful and yet hilarious at the same time.... he could of at least did the dumping after the show. I bet she paid the way in for him and his new gf.

I was walking down the street in Evanston the other day when a young woman say the following:

"At least I don't antagonize people with my very existance!"

Also, at walmart, a desperate sounding young wife said:

"Honey, you can;t buy car stuff for our home!"

I totally can't think of any good conversations I've overheard lately, although I'm sure there are many.

But check out http://www.inpassing.org/

Hilarious! My favorite:

"I don't care, it's hopeless."
"At least you have hope. I'm without hope."
"Um. Hope-less? Meaning also without hope?"

The other day I was in the student food court sitting next to a group of Japanese students. There conversation was in Japanese until one of the girls started singing Can You Feel The Love Tonight from the Lion King. She wasn't even really singing, more of a sing-song voice in very broken english.

favorgrl

Well, I was participating in this convo but it was damn funny! One of the guitarists in mr. khimegirl's band said "I have a huge organ, and it's really hard to carry around!"

It took him five minutes to figure out why we were laughing so hard.

in a similar vein as khimegirl's (i was part of this one too):

This was from a friend of mine the other day; he works at Borders (bookstore) and at this time was on a cafe shift, but the cafe is always dead so i was hanging around and yakking with him. Finally a customer came up and requested tea. Once given the tea, the guy said, "Do you have any honey?" to which my friend replied, "I've got all the honey you need, man" in just kind of a jocular way. but I mumbled "As the girl said to the sailor" (which is basically what i say whenever someone says something that can be construed as dirty). It took all my willpower not to laugh though; i don't think the customer would have appreciated it (though i doubt he caught the same connotation as i did). {:P

-S

overheard, at a social gathering / party, by a sober person speaking in complete seriousness "and then the world was overtaken by communist lizards."

Three days ago, while seated on a plane that was not-quite-ready to take off, I heard the woman in front of me *yell* into her cell phone, "Oh this flight won't be so bad because I am REALLY STONED." Everyone within earshot (which was like half the plane) gave each other these embarrassed looks, and then later when the stewardesses came by with the food tray I heard one of them ask the other, "I know she's sleeping, but do you think we should just leave a meal by her seat? You know she's gonna be hungry."

Working at a store, I hear some pretty good half-conversations. My most recent favorite:

a guy was waiting in line with (whom I assumed to be) his girlfriend. guy was yakking on his cell phone and all I heard of his conversation was "yeah, so I've gotta call up a customer service number to get my JDate account off of suspension. I bet it was suspended because of that bitch."

awesome. I'm sure that's the only reason, big guy.

a horrible thing on the loud speaker at glastonbury festival
" will the parents of the 6mouth year old child left please make their way to the first aid point!"

When i was at school the lads liked to wind up our media studies teacher, so one of them asked "Do you still live with your mum, sir?". In reply my teacher said "No, i live with yours." I nearly peed my pants. Good times, good times.

Maybe not technically "overheard", but a funny story anyway:

I'm on a temp job, answering phones for an admin who's in and out of training meetings this week. Today she had to go to "company values" training - where employees are taught about the corporation's dedication to things like Teamwork and Integrity, et cetera.

Her coworker needed a pen to take notes in the meeting, and their boss said "Here, use mine." Admin looked at Boss's pen and said, "Wait a minute, that's the pen you gave *me* as an award a few months ago! Nice *Integrity* there, Boss."

I suggested to her that maybe he saw her "sharing" her pen with him as Teamwork.

this is funny b/c it's out of context, I'll put in the conversation then explain:

From the conference room..."Let's go to the strip club tonight."
"I don't want to go there, it's too much work for me."

The context:
There is a restaurant called the strip club, they serve NY strip steak and you grill it yourself at your table :)

jt