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Topic 1st one-night-stand...*update?* Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By thixle On 04/04/04  

I can't believe that I just experienced my very first one-night-stand. I never thought I would have one. I feel like I'm writing a "dear diary" thing here, but I can't help myself :) Little background- I'm 23 and have been single for about a month (after bf of 3 years). Luckily, I'm not at all ashamed or feeling guilty. Instead, I feel extremely refreshed! I went out last night with my bro and his gf to play pool-- one of my bro's friends was there, and after much coaxing from my bro, I invited X over to watch a movie. hehehe, needless to say, the movie didn't get watched.

Have you ever had a one-night-stand? How did it happen? How did you feel about it?

By kazoogrrl On 04/04/04  

I had several - I remember after the first one (a few months after ending a 4 year relationship) as a huge ego boost. The guy periodically tried to booty call me over the next few years, but I always declined - it was fun one time, I didn't need a re-do. I had a few since then, and they were fun too, but one night stands are not really my flavour, even though I sometimes think that jumping some random hot guy and then saying "See ya!" would be nice.

As long as your smart and safe, it can be fun!

By mgdriver On 04/04/04  

i guess if it can be hit and run, safe sex only, don't call me again, it has its virtues. but i've been married too long, it has no appeal now.

By MlleEmily On 04/04/04  

It's cool that you had a good time! I guess I've had a few one-night-stands over the years, except bar one, they've all turned into relationships! So I don't think I've really got the true spirit of the one-nighter down.

The one that didn't turn into a relationship was just kind of a meh experience, not good or bad particularly. And while I don't have moral judgements on one-night stands, I don't have a "yeah, go for it, have a milllion of them, it's so liberating!" attitude either. I don't anticipate I'll have any more in the future, cos I'm happy with my fella. But who knows.

By advil On 04/04/04  

I was actually supposed to have my first one tonight! I met a guy yesterday at an international voluntering meeting, it cliked very well. We were supposed to see each other tonight, but he didn't call me, and I only have his home phone number ... and he lives 3 hours from here. (He is staying at his cousin for the weekend, for the meeting.) We had a nice time, it was smooth, we half lips - half chicks kissed and he warmly hold my elbow. I wonder why he didn't call, not even just to say hey. Better luck next time I guess! But I am now shaved, plucked, moisturized and exfoliated in front of a computer who ate the work I did during the afternoon, trying to feel independent!

I am very glad you had a nice experience Thixle!

ETA: well, he didn't call because he already likes someone else who lives in the west and has a steady cuddling-friend. He emailed me, I don't know what to answer back really...

By Daysleeper On 04/04/04  


The only problem with 1-night stands, is if you intended it to NOT be just a 1-night stand.

By grrrlcore On 04/05/04  

I've had a few when I was at university, they were enjoyable and fulfilled a need at the time. My feelings are that so long as both parties realise it's a one night stand, are single, and safe physically and emotionally then go for it.

I wouldn't have one now, as I have a long term boyfriend. But I don't regret having them at all.

By Sazzle On 04/05/04  

I have to quote a friend here who has the best term for a positive one-night experience after the break-up of a relationship - she calls it "sexual sorbet" - the cleansing break between courses! ;)

By boxless On 04/05/04  

Hmm...I've only technically had full blown SEX with 3 people (a girl, and two guys)...One of which I am in a 2+year long relationship with, and the other people were practically obsessed with me.

I would never have a one night stand, probably due to the fact that I think sex is a HUGE deal, and I enjoy being able to count the number of sexual partners I've had on one hand.

I have to literally be worshipped before I give it up =).

By s.rock On 04/05/04  

Go you! Glad it was fun.

About every year or so I seem to be in the mood for some good casual lovin'. I just passed some up this weekend because I'm in a long-distance relationship. The prospect is leaving the country in a few weeks. And was hot. Oh well.

By thixle On 04/06/04  

Uh, I came home today and there was a message on my machine from him. It was, how do you say, an unexpected message... That ended with "I miss you." Yipes... He's actually 3 years younger than I am, and I don't think he has ever done this either. I don't WANT him to miss me, I don't WANT a relationship, and I thought I had made that clear. How do I let him down gently? Wow, I was afraid this would happen. I am a very blunt person, so I usually just come out and say what I mean. But, I don't want to hurt him... grrrr...

By misshawklet On 04/06/04  

"i miss you" after one night? yipes.
sounds like you have to do what you do best...just tell him that you do not want a relationship, period.
And I'd say not sleep with him again, or else you'd be leading him on.

By Faith On 04/06/04  

The ever popular "Sorry but I got back with my ex" white lie seems appropriate in situations like this.

By hazel1 On 04/06/04  

tell him the truth, you're just coming out of a long-term relationship and thought the encounter was a one-time thing...

By KattWalk On 04/06/04  

i've had one. only one. and it was ok for the time. not what I am into now at all. It was a few years ago. And yeah, i can't remember his name. It was fun, but that was it. I have no shame in it.

By crumpet On 04/06/04  

I had a one-night-stand with someone about six months after I'd broken up with my ex. We exchanged numbers, but sort of as a formality. Neither of us called. I'm glad I did it.

Then I had another one-night-stand with said ex -- does that count???

That got messy quite quickly though. Then about a week later, I went to an Ani DiFranco concert, had an epiphany during a combined version of 'You Had Time' and 'Providence', cried, and moved on from the ex.

Three days later I met a guy who had also been at the Ani concert, went back to his place and listened to CDs, and had sex. That one night stand is still going strong five years and two months later...

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