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By miscreation On 03/20/04 bf and i have an 8month old son...honestly, the hardest thing i've found about having a baby is my extended family! they expect to see the grandson every weekend....his parents are seperated and his mom is there's 2 sets of people (them and his dad) to visit and my dad passed away so i have my mom to see who i can see on my own during the week but on weekends, our time is spent visiting his family this morning i sent the boys off on their own since before i always had to go cuz i've been breastfeeding...sometimes i feel like i'm being a big baby but sometimes i wish we lived a bit further so that all this visiting wasn't feasible! i know it's good for my son though ...and i know that my "in-laws' will babysit so that's good too..i think deep down i may be resentful that my dad is gone and my bf's stepdad and dad are here..seems unbalanced..again, i know its best for my son but i needed to vent...anyone else having a hard time with grandparents??

By Melynn On 03/21/04  

We did have a few problems when my ex and I first started having babies. But had to just set a schedule. His mom lived about an hour away, so once a month we would go and stay with her for a weekend. My mom and dad were like a mile away, so seeing them was easy. But we just had to set a time that we could go and visit.
The most important thing to keep saying is that "you are always welcome to come over" Afterall, the road does go both ways and it is hard to always be the one to pack up the kids and go for a visit. And it can be hard on the kids as well to always be packing up and go visiting. Even though they may enjoy visiting after a while, it seemed my kids were dreading the car ride.
Now we have every other week visitation with dad and his family so they always stay at his mom's house during visitation. Mynew husband isn't close to his mom at all, so she doesn't even know my kids at all. I don't think she would know them if she saw them, and she only lives about 15 minutes away.
Anyway, good luck, it can take a while. Just be sure to do what you are comfortable with and if working out a regular schedule is what will work.
I breastfed too, and for me it was difficult, first time mother, unsure of everything, I always wanted to find a room where I was alone to feed my daughter and people would come in and look and say things to me about breastfeeding and I just wanted to crawl under the bed and hide.
But there is a time when the parents need to realize that you have your own family to care for now and it isn't always feesible to just take off and visit them.
You are not being a big baby!!! You are a mommy and you have the right to enjoy it at home! Don't feel bad about not wanting to go somewhere. You can't please everyone, it may sound selfish of me to say, but please yourself. Too many mothers, I think, spend all their time trying to make others happy. It isn't fair to you.
I think I covered everything! Sorry if it seems a little vague and ranty...I have just delt with this for a long time.


By miscreation On 03/22/04  

thanks melinda! i really appreciate it!

By Melynn On 03/22/04  

No problem-us mamas gotta stick together!


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