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Topic Am I giving this waaay too much thought? Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By melmelon On 03/16/04  

I think this is really dumb...on my part for becoming obsessive over it....but anyway... this chick who reads my blog suggests that I give my kids a bottle so that someone else can feed them and I can have a break, since I sound so stressed.....she was kind enough to email me that......wtf? For me, the purpose of my blog is so that I can rant and rave, bitch and complain...all so that no one has to actually listen to me. Of course things are going to sound crappy..its my own personal bitchefest when I want it to be. But seriously, who the hell is going to feed my kids a bottle? My husband? Me? I live near no family, in a town I just moved to...all my friends are at least an hour's drive away, most of them further. And why would I even consider that..I AM tandem nursing for f*uck's sakes.
Alright, that's my own share-it-with-the-world bitch for today...



By looloo On 03/16/04  

yep, you are giving it way too much thought! She was just trying to be helpful.

Although I do see where you are coming from. As a "bottle-feeder" it is easy to say to someone "oh just give them a bottle" but you also have to respect the mother and their views on such things.
But also, if you are writing these things on your blog and have your email address out there for people to email you, you are going to get emails! Even ones you don't agree with...so, take a deep breath, count backwards from 10 and go write in your blog that you don't want to give your baby a bottle and that it would not benefit you or the baby in anyway....

oh how I love to ramble...



By melmelon On 03/16/04  

thanks....I know I think too much about stupid things...btw...this happened 3 days ago....and its STILL on my mind...must annoy me more than it should..I did email her and thank her for her concern. I think its time to change my preferences....then I can really type out what's on my mind....either that or make it private - the blog I mean.



By jane_bond On 03/16/04  

File it under "Dumb, Unwanted, Unsolicted Advice".

My son won't even take a bottle. He thinks they are chew toys!



By jennymeg On 03/16/04  

One thing I try to do with my blog is foresee that kind of unwanted advice. You could turn off the comments function (I bet she emailed you for fear that leaving a comment might result in a nasty public retort about something like nipple confusion, something that may also be playing on your mind). You can also clarify you are only looking for support not "helpful" advice.

You are a new mom, so of course you are stressed out. I remember I was trying to fill a bottle with pumped breastmilk. It had a screw-on bottom (one of those angled types for less air intake) and so I was making sure it was tightened. I UN-screwed the damned thing by accident and my "liquid gold" was all over the floor. Oh my gosh, talk about having a fit. It is a whole new set of issues, those bottles. I cried and cried.



By melmelon On 03/16/04  

That's so awful about the spilled milk...who the hell are they to say there's no use crying over it?
Actually, she told me that her first kid didnt take to the boob, so she didnt even try with the second.
I know she was just passing this "helpful" advice on with only the best of intentions...but Frigggg....its a blog....not an advice column. Oh well, what can you do? Other than change it to private...



By jane_bond On 03/17/04  

Wouldn't take the boob? That's up there with "I didn't have enough milk" as lame-o excuses to not bother breastfeeding.

I have those angled bottles. I hated them. Since all my pumped milk is in zipper storage/liner bags, I just got the tube style bottles. He won't drink ebm, tho, so it's a lost cause.

I got the same kinds of unwanted advice about bf'ing and other ap type things when I would vent in the early days. My family always has to try to fix things, so I got lots of "well, if you can't sleep at night, put him in a crib!"

People just don't get that struggling emotionally or physically with new parent demands is not solved by abandoning the way that I want to parent. Just because I might b*tch about getting bitten occaisionally, does not mean that I would ever entertain the thought of weaning my son to avoid the biting. It's like throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Don't worry about the comments from strangers (or even family and friends) - you keep blogging away. Better to vent it there then have a freak out at home :)



By melmelon On 03/17/04  

aaahhhhh...THE CRIB.....the only bloody thing I used THAT for with my first daughter, was as an extension of her dresser...that and the biggest cat bed ever....we have since moved to another place and THE CRIB is still sitting i pieces, awaiting donation to some worthy cause....maybe I'll take it to a church for their nursery...yet mil keeps asking me when I am going to set it up. (we went through the "when are you going to start putting her in there? crap" right up until we got the big girl bed that p.m. doesnt sleep in), so you think that considering this is #2 that we might have a clue as to what may or may not work for us.

And the biting.....p.m. would chomp down hard EVERY frigging time she ate from about 4 weeks old till she got her teeth...then she stopped...I am still waiting for this little one to try that, but maybe I'll get lucky....



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