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By melmelon On 02/27/04  

I was going to call this thread "stupid people," but figured it might be too mean, even for me...so on the topic of stupid things...how about stupid things people do or say in regards to unwanted childrearing advice or whatever...
For me, I *hate* it when my mil tells me what those f*cking women she works with think I should/should not be doing...I know that she thinks she is being "helpful," but my life isnt any of their bloody business.
I also hate it when I am out grocery shopping and my pet monster stands up in the cart....nothing short of duct tape can hold this little houdini...and some "well-meaning" stranger tells me that I shouldnt let her stand up in the cart like that because she might fall and get hurt. I am past trying to justify/defend myself or even joke about it to these know-it-alls. and what bugs me the most is the ones that dont have or will ever have kids. I could go on and on and on and on, but I'll let the rest of you share your pet peeves too.



By looloo On 02/27/04  

I seem to have been lucky in the strangers giving the unwanted advice...my little looloo is a wild child (I prefer to call her spirited) I usually get looks of pity, and to be honest with you, sometimes if I don't get looks of pity I want to step on people's toes!!! (you know, for being so smug)

But I do get all of the unwanted advice I can handle from my mil...(thank god she is not enlisting her co-workers) and her sister....

They both think they have raised the most wonderful children, but between them they have raised 2 teen mothers, 1 druggie (former, my hubby), and 2 druggies/convicted felons (one of which is still serving time) so, I usually just shrug it off....

But what really bothers me is when my mil says something about spirited little looloo (she is looloo for a reason, shorter and nicer than looney bin) and how she is so BAD and how we don't DISCIPLINE her correctly...but you know what? she is standing on a counter, she is not hitting any one...



By jane_bond On 02/28/04  

"If you hold him all the time while he sleeps you're going to spoil him", says my mother of her 3 week old grandson, while he is sleeping, in HER arms!

"If you nurse him every time he cries, you're going to spoil him," says my two non-parent sisters of their 3 week old nephew (who now, at 10.5 mths, gleefully crawls out of the room I'm in to explore his world - it's called trust!)

"He's manipulating you, you know. He's using you as a pacifier," says his two non-parent aunts at various times. (Um, actually, a pacifier is a fake nipple - I like to give him the real thing)

"If you don't put him in a crib, he'll never be able to sleep anywear except your bed," says *see above. Well, I guess I'll have to move into his college dorm with him!

"If you nurse him to sleep, he'll never be able to fall asleep by himself," says *see above. I guess he must've found a way to nurse telepathically when he falls asleep in his stroller, in his carrier, in the car, when sitters watch him... Again, I'll just have to move into his dorm with him.



By senorcoconut On 02/28/04  

My great-grandmother said it is impossible to spoil a child under six months. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
I told that to every dick who dared to question my authority as a nursing mother.



By angstmommy On 02/28/04  

I heard all of those same comments about my now 4 very independant daughter.......... stick to your guns mama.



By melmelon On 02/29/04  

I love the whole manipulation theme....thats been mil's latest tangent...she did it with the pet monster and started that with this one at about TWO WEEKS!!!! I should also let my kids cry, especially that manipulating little baby...to that I ask her, why? so she can learn fear and mistrust from her own mother, or should I just let grandma teach them that? The thing I dont really get is that most of this shit she tried on me when I was the inexperienced mother two years ago, yet as stubborn as always, I usually just told her to piss off...so why does she think I will do anything differently this time? I will not set the crib up, stick it in another room and let this baby "learn" how to be alone either. And I will spend my days typing one-handed and chasing after the p.m. (pet monster) instead of letting baby "cry it out" if need be.
BTW, when I also go to college with my kids, do you think they'll be too embarrassed to go bar hopping with their mom? How else will they be able to drink brown cos or anything else with milk, right? They might have to stick to beer otherwise.



By looloo On 03/02/04  

seriously, your mil said your baby was manipulating you? Oh my...



By cackalackie On 03/02/04  

I just hate getting unsolicited advice anyway. I mean, don't these people know, "I'm the only expert of my own child!"?!

Fortunately, my MIL is an ocean away. Even when we lived closer, at least she would usually offer her advice to my husband, thus avoiding a confrontation. Not that there would have been one. She is a very nice lady who means well. I just didn't ever want to hear it. Isn't that odd? I mean, times have changed since they were mothers of babies, but then they probably went through the same thing with their MIL's.

I don't know why I'm so wierd about it. Just the other night we were at friends' house. My baby was acting a bit fussy. Now, she usually doesn't do this. She usually just sits there and smiles, etc. So I knew there was something up with her. And I had a pretty good idea what it could be. She'd just had shots the day before. And she was teething and all the drooling was wreaking havoc with her bum. But my friend said, "I think we just forget how much trouble they are." I was like, "No - she really isn't trouble at all. There's obviously something the matter - she isn't feeling quite right." I took it so personally for some reason, as if she thought she knew better than I did! I'm sure she was only trying to be helpful. (Well, a little while later I went to change her and she puked up all over the place. Yay - I was right! ha ha)



By looloo On 03/02/04  

Somebody made the assumption with me that I would not be that upset (emotional) when my baby starts Kindergarten in the fall, because I am a working mother. This hurt my feelings incredibly! I am a mom!!!! ARgh!! Why wouldn't I feel emotional about this? It is not like it is easy to leave my babies everyday and come to work, but I have to! My baby is growing up and it is sad...



By melmelon On 03/02/04  

looloo - What a shitty thing to say...I know that on one hand I am counting the months til my oldest starts school, but thats cause she's a maniac, but I would never assume that everyone else feels this way about their own kids...my general rule is that whatever I think/feel/do, chances are that the complete opposite is generally the "norm". I am however, trying to cherish this time, but it is so bloody hard with these independent thinkers I am raising....must remember to turn them into sheep, or something more agreeable.
And as for the manipulation.....yup, thats what she says (still)....its like, hello!!! communication!!!! Thats what babies do, cry till they get what they want...now if they were adult men, then, YES, that IS manipulation....bloody hell, its been like 30 years since she had her own newborn, and the bad memories do fade and the good ones grow larger than life. I will hit "post" now before the rant REALLY starts.



By melmelon On 03/02/04  

I think that's what the big problem for me is.....most people just act (knowingly or not) like they know my kids better than I do, when they've spent maybe an hour or two around them.
As for the how much trouble they are crap...some friends are just too much trouble.
I am pretty conscious to NOT give unsolicited advice, no matter how hard it is not to at times, simply because I hate getting the useless grap myself...in real life of course, forums dont count in my messed up little world....he he he he....



By looloo On 04/07/04  

I am bringing this one back because this skinny model bitch at work just asked me if I was having triplets! She thought she was being cute!



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