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Topic stupid things people do... Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By jhenscott On 02/25/04  

I'm extending the topic "stupid things people say".
Does anyone else find that those around you, expect ALOT from you. or maybe it's not the expectations, but rather the fact that I feel constantly watched, monitored, judged. and then there's "how are you fee-eee-eee-ling?" in the whiny, faux-sympathetic tone.
I personally feel GREAT...when I don't feel the need to *perform* for everyone else! If I'm not super-charged, hyper-enthusiastic 24 hours a day, people start smothering me (more than they already do): "what's wrong? are you tired/stressed/moody?" egads! get offa'me!
If I tell them to give me space, I get blamed for being hormonal ("oh it's okay" they whisper to everyone else "it's just the hormones!") no seriously! it's YOU! you are annoying me!!
I finally asked my mother as politely and diplomatically as possible, to treat me normally...to stop having such high expectations from me. I'm pregnant, I'm not super-woman. She stopped talking to me (that was only 3 days ago, but still).
Does anyone else feel the stress to behave the way everyone expects you to, is getting to them? As far as being pregnant goes, I love it! I am really pumped. but I just get exhausted trying to prove it constantly to everyone.
~jhen



By looloo On 02/25/04  

oh my, these women at work will bicker and whine all day long, then if I say one thing they say "is it April yet?" like my hormones are their big problem! I don't like Celine Dion, if I mention that I don't like her, they say "is it April yet?" What???? Like being pregnant has distorted my musical tastes and somehow miraculously come April I will be a Celine Dion fan!!!

I am not going to complain to much about the actions that people take, because god knows I love to have a door held open for me. But to assume that I can't or won't take the stairs because I am pregnant is too much!

Oh and this other pregnant lady in the office often comes by my desk and checks to see what I am drinking. I drink coffee or tea sometimes, and have talked to my Dr. about it. She, however, is not my Dr. and should keep her opinion of caffeine to herself! I am tired of feeling like I need to hide the drinks!



By melmelon On 02/25/04  

When I was pregnant everything that did or didnt go into my mouth was scrutinized...because apparently I dont know how much protein/iron/dairy/veg I need....how I made it this far in life without being told what to eat is beyond me.

I forgot to mention the "touching." I do not liked being touched period!! Never mind while I was pregant. But I would usually touch the offender right back when they patted my belly...the looks on the jackass' face was almost worth their transgression in the first place.



By blissed On 02/25/04  

It took me five months to get my mother to stop saying she didn't think I was excited enough. She could only remember feeling so happy and excited about her pregnancies.... 30 years ago. I'm sure in 30 years, if the kids have finally left the house, that's all I'll remember too.

The constant parenting from nodding acquaintances and strangers is tiring. I'm tempted to pre-emptively announce "Decaf, dammit!" as I pass folks in the hallway after getting my one fake coffee a day. I work a busy night shift, and sometimes the best I can manage is a fast-food run -- someone always chides me. If they'd like to come over during the day and shop for and prepare a healthy, balanced dinner I can take to work, be my guest.

Then there's the one co-worker who had her nursery set up in her fourth month and, as she tells me daily, liked to sit in there every day and "anticipate." She's horrified that I haven't dismantled the office desk in our nursery yet, much less painted it and decorated it. I keep telling her, that probably won't happen until after the baby is born, and the reason is because I can't - and don't want to -- do it all myself while my husband is off working insane hours to clear projects off his desk before the final four weeks of our pregnancy. That's been hard enough for us to cope with without her trying to make me feel like I'm not doing enough.

And everyone is always trying to save me the trouble of walking anywhere: to pick up something off the printer, to throw something out, etc. They won't let me politely decline and do it myself. I end up explaining that moving around is good for me. Heck, my butt aches if I sit for more than 45 minutes.

I hear less about this, but men who leer at pregnant women really, really unnerve me.

Politically and socially, I've never been a mainstream chick. I know they mean well, but it cracks me up that people who wouldn't give me the time of day now treat me as a community treasure just because I am blessedly with child.



By melmelon On 02/25/04  

As much as I prefer the easier, "dont ask, dont tell" route....just for fun you may want to tell your co-worker that you plan on co-sleeping so you can watch her head spin around and her eyes bug out, and that THAT is why said crib is not set up. With my first daughter I got the crib (from a friend)...I had no clue as to what I did or did not need beyond the car seat....didnt set it up until I was about 9 months pregnant and only ended up using it to put her clean clothes in (much easier than opening those dresser drawers, you know). it also made a great place for the cats to sleep...sure am glad I didnt shell out any moola for that.



By senorcoconut On 02/25/04  

A guy I worked with openly hit on me the moment he found out I was pregnant. Didn't give me the time of day before that. I just walked in one morning after a night of growing and he looked at me and said, "Oh, my. You're pregnant." Non-stop after that.



By looloo On 02/25/04  

One of my favorite things to do is listen to new moms say how they are going to do this and that (about sleeping and such)...they don't realize that they can't do what they want...they can only do what the baby wants! My baby didn't want a crib or to co-sleep....she wanted her car seat!

I mentioned earlier about someone saying "is it April yet" and not 1/2 hour later she said it again and this time it made me cry!!!! I feel like I can't defend myself because if I do someone will say it again!



By hushabye On 02/25/04  

Maybe you should say "It's not, but I wish it was. In April I finally get to be away from you and your constant posturing!" Or "Why do you keep asking that? Are you looking forward to a big trip or something?" OR "Ooh, what happens in April?" with a really curious, excited look on your face.



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