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By rubychew On 02/23/04  

so, I'm 39 and I'm thinking of having a child (well we and my man) and I'm terrified..truly...but I want to do it. Anyway, just wondered if there were any larger girls who had any advice for preparing for pregnancy or during. I'm not sure if it matters, but I've heard that heavier woman have different troubles.

any ideas/adivce will be appreciated.

By looloo On 02/23/04  

I have not had any serious health issues with my 3 pregnancys, but my age might have been a factor (My youngest was at 24 and this one at 28)

I would suggest talking to an OB

By luci_mama On 02/23/04  

In contrast, I would suggest talking to a midwife, not an OB. Better still, find a nice big matronly midwife who won't be concerned by a few extra pounds.

I've read stories about how large women have even higher c-section rates than women in general (and one in four women in the U.S. birth their babies through their bellies and not their vaginas these days), and how the issue of how much and when and whether they gain weight, what they eat, etc. are made into much bigger deals than they need to be, stressing the mamas out.

Nutrition and appropriate exercise are important, sure. But so is a woman's faith in her own body's ability to birth a baby the way it was built to.

There's a fabulous website, that has a bazillion birth stories and helpful articles on it. And another one (that I'm less familiar with, but heard of) at

I was 39 when I had my first baby -- don't let them scare you with the "advanced maternal age" crap, either!

Good luck!


By looloo On 02/23/04  

luci--after I wrote this I thought about how none of my OB's even mentioned weight, I don't think they actually paid any attention to it. (which is not a good thing)

Okay, so if she combines our being overweight and you being 39 she should be just fine

By GlassPrincess On 02/23/04  

That's the rumor anyway... LOL ;))

Don't let fatphobic people talk you out of having a child. For many years my freaking OB/GYN told me it was my weight that was keeping me from having a child, and wouldn't test me or anything. I'm definitely plus sized, and have had no health issues related to my weight. I only recently found an OB/GYN that diagnosed my problem (NOT related to my weight), and I'm now 16 weeks pregnant.

It is increasingly disturbing to me that people still think that plus sized women have MORE trouble having babies then anyone below a size 14. My OB hasn't mentioned my weight, except to let me know that it would be helpful postpartum to keep my weight gain to around 20 lbs. I've gained a pound so far (morning sickness during the first trimester had me down 5 lbs.) Otherwise everything is going very well. I had a threatened miscarriage during my first trimester, but that was due to my particular fertily issue - NOT my weight. I have had three office visits, and my OB was very happy with my progress.

If you want to know more I suggest going to and reading posts on the Plus-sized and Pregnant board.

You'll find that there are plenty of plus sized women having normal pregnancies there.

Good luck to you :)

***ETA*** I meant to post my baby site (work in progress - baby and site...) :

By Toast. On 02/26/04  

thank you for that.
you might've read my post, i've been trying, or should i say we've been trying, to have a baby 6 months now.. and i've been thinking maybe its to do with my weight..
so i guess i'll just have to start taking things seriously and talk to my doctor..

By GlassPrincess On 02/26/04  

Sometimes it seems that the "fat" gets the blame for any little thing, and is a doctors excuse to not explore your case like they would any other patient.

I'd look into finding out what your options are, and go from there... my particular problem was something I had all my life without knowing (skinny and plus-sized). It is called luteal phase defect.

Having a doctor willing to work with you certainly doesn't hurt. I'd set up an appointment to consult with yours as soon as you're ready. In the meantime... keep trying ;)

Best of luck to you,

By SmudgyCat On 02/26/04  

Sometimes being too overweight can hinder fertility. I think there is a fat-estrogen link that keeps ovulation from occuring? Something like that...I don't recall specifics.

I think if you are having fertility issues, losing weight would be my first course of action. It's cheaper and less painful than other fertility treatments.

Also, charting your cycle may help you figure out if you are ovulating. If you have to see a fertility doctor, they will have you do that for a few months before doing any major treatment. Taking Charge of your Fertility is a really good book on the subject.

Good luck everyone!

By GlassPrincess On 02/27/04  

As is being underweight, etc. But you won't know until you consult with your doctor. Being overweight doesn't automatically cause infertily, and as a patient you have rights to be treated like everyone else including the investigation of all possible avenues of infertily - if you even are infertile... you might just be missing your ovulation. Like the pp I too recommend the book Taking Charge of your Fertility... it helped me seek out a second opinion after I found something was wrong with my cycle, and not with me.


By madcat On 03/01/04  

I didn't have any problems from my weight during my pregnancy other than the attitude I got from my OB.

I had a high risk pregnancy due to factors other than the weight, and the only reason I stuck it out with him was that he was the only high risk specialist in my area, and he was very good with taking care of high risk pregnancies.

But the whole time, he had this attitude about the weight, where he wanted to keep my weight gain down to 15 pounds during the course of the pregnancy, and my 20 pound gain was like a crime.

When I passed the glucose test, he almost seemed incredulous, as if being overweight was a guarantee of gestational diabetes. And even after the test came out ok, each pound I gained he kept making comments about the baby gaining too much weight and the baby being too large.

Well, it turned out that my predicted humongous baby only weighed 7 pounds at birth. He was a good doctor in many other ways, but I was just so worried during the course of my pregnancy about food, that I couldn't possibly ever go to him again.

Some people think that when you are overweight, it's because you don't worry about food, but it's true that more often people who are overweight worry about food ALL THE TIME.

Finding that sort of ignorance in a doctor disturbed me. It's not that you have to be a super genius to be a doctor, but I'd much prefer someone who is less influenced by personal assumptions.

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