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By looloo On 01/19/04  

I did not want to hijack the baby shower registry thread with this question but..

I am going to have baby #3, and my friend and sister are adamant about throwing me a baby shower. Isn't it against "Miss Manners" to have a baby shower after the first child? I am not saying that I would not appreciate one, I don't have much money and all of the baby things I did have have since been donated to good will. I guess my question is, should I discourage this or go along with it? What would you do?

By Auntart On 01/19/04  

You are suppose to only have one baby shower...if the seconf child is of a different gender you can get away with a "sprinkling"...a very small party. But with a third baby...I don't know...I think it would come across as tacky. I mean you can't expect your family and friends to buy the car seat again. It sounds like your sister/friend...I can't remember which you said...anyway it sounds like they just want to do something for you...lift your spirits etc. Why don't you suggest having a get-together but no gifts. Maybe you could have a glamour party and have a manicurist come and do manicures for every one while you all sip cocktails (virgin for you) and finger food. Or get together and learn a new craft. A crochet party where everyone comes and drinks and eats and learns to crochet. Or even just a simple pot luck supper...maybe hire a babysitter that will be on -site and the ladies can have a chance to just relax and enjoy adult conversation. I know I could use some of that right about now.
good luck!

By Auntart On 01/19/04  

Oh one more thing...if you did do a craft type party you could do it with a baby theme. At the party everyone could make a "block" fabric paint and such and then at the end of the night you'll have enough squares to make a quilt. Very fun and a wonderful memory for the third child to have. Maybe one of the ladies at the party could piece it together for you also. So that you wouldn't have to worry about it.
Or if you are into scrapbooking you could have a scrapbooking party where all the guests make a page for you to use in your baby book ...that way all you have to do is put the pictures in and fill in the blanks.

By SmudgyCat On 01/19/04  

Technically, it is tacky to have another baby shower. However, if your friends really want to do a party for you, I'd let them. Maybe make it a child friendly shower/party, so your friends can bring their kids to play while the moms and dads socialize.

You can also let it be known through the grapevine that baby item hand-me-downs would be appreciated. Groups rarely get together unless it's for a wedding or funeral, so take advantage of a life changing event to get your friends and family together.

To make it seem less gift-grubbing, don't send out those baby shower invites and don't register for things. You can tell your friends things you need, so if anyone asks, your friends can have ready responses.

Have fun!

By jane_bond On 01/19/04  

If your friends want to throw you a shower, I wouldn't get bothered by what some manner's book has to say about it. People love to buy stuff to celebrate a new baby! And people love to get together to meet a new kidlet!

If you are going to throw a shower before baby arrives, why don't you have a labour party. In the invite, have everyone bring a bead to the party and then string them together so that you have a special and unique focus tool for managing labour!

Or ask everyone to bring a wish or blessing for the new baby, printed up or written up on special paper and then put those into a special scrapbook album for the baby. This can be a very special keepsake for when the baby is older and they will cherish those blessings and kind wishes and perhaps use them to get strength in times of need or inspiration.

Just because some fusty old broad says that subsequent showers are a social faux pas doesn't mean celebrating with family and friends is a bad idea!

By Milyssa On 01/19/04  

One of the selling points for a shower (at least in my mind) is that you don't have your old baby clothes anymore. Buying all those clothes for baby can get expensive!

I liked the idea of maybe letting everyone know that "hand-me-down" clothing would be a great gift! Or newborn diapers, etc., because that is another gift often given at showers that everyone needs, regardless of how many kids they have had before!

By MojoMama On 01/20/04  

ditto to the hand-me-down party! I bet everyone has something in the closet or attic they've been saving that they'd love to pass on. Or, if they want to give you something new, let them! I agree, people like to do something to celebrate a new child, so let them! If you let it be known that they don't *have* to bring a gift, it's just a celebration of a new life, people might just surprise you with something unique! Besides, I know that I have a lot of baby items that won't make it past the first child, so I hope I still get s few things when I have another! :)

By stargirley On 01/20/04  

My best friend and sister are already planning for mine. I had one for my first, but that will have been 6 years ago by the time this one pops out. so I pretty much have 0 remnants of any baby supplies. I need everything. I'm getting some hand me downs and borrowing some big ticket items from some friends and family. but I'm going to need all the onsies and diaper I can get. I don't think it's wrong to have a second or third baby shower. All of my friends that have more than one child have had more than one shower. so I say go for it. hey if you appreciate the help and they are happy to give it. I say why not.!!!!

By looloo On 01/21/04  

Okay, I guess I have decided to go along with a baby shower. I found a whole bunch of neat games yesterday that I told my sister about and I never get to see all of my friends so it will be fun!

By Melynn On 01/24/04  

when you have people that are dead set on having a shower for you, you're kinda stuck. But what would another way you could do it (including the already good ideas) You could have a "meet the baby" party. Where on the invitations could read, "Please come and meet our new addition, your presence is your gift" Something like that.

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