I'm often surprised when I hear how others see me. These, I think, are the biggest misconceptions:

* That I'm a listener. I am so not. Sometimes it seems as if people with problems are drawn to me and think I am willing to listen to them and give great advice, but mostly just listen. When I try to give a quick solution to their problems they think I'm blunt and say they just wanted to share, not get advice. Whaa? I've had my share of problems but don't like to dwell.

* That I want to "express my femininity". That just sucks and I can't believe how people who know me can think that, considering I'm very, very feminist and believe that gender differences are caused by society & surroundings. The expression of femininity is supposed to be my long hair and the occasional hair clip, I think?

* That I'm sweet and kind and want to help everyone. I don't. Some people are *shocked* if I happen to curse when I, say, drop something on my foot.

* That I'm super straight.

Is it like this for everyone? What about you, do you feel that others see the "real you"?

one of my best friends and i were playing the "what song is you" game, and he came up with the Built to Spill song "she" for me:
"some people think she's funny
others say she's dumb
some poeple think shes stuck up
others say she's shy
some people like her for her charms
some people take her for granted..."

but really, isnt that all of us?
xo
lydia

People always laugh at me when I tell them I'm shy, but I really am! I think it makes me come off as unfriendly or, worse, dumb. I end up talking about myself a lot or fumbling sentences. It's really fucking annoying.

That i'm snobby or not interested in talking to people. I'm mostly reserved and occasionally shy.

I am shy too, so sometimes I just don't say anything and so people think I am a bitch but I am actually very nice :) I am also blonde and have a high voice and so people think I am dumb or ditzy but I am not! When I say something intelligent people who don't know me often act surprised! One time someone who I had known for a long time but never really had an in depth conversation with even admitted to me that he thought I was dumb until that conversation.

That, because I've suffered from serious depression and anxiety attacks, I'm completely incapable and shouldn't ever be put under any stress. I'm actually very good and practical in short-term stressful crisis situations, it's long term coping that I struggle with occasionally. And coping with people who treat me like an idiot. I've got through a lot of tough shit and I'm still alive and kicking, you'd think that would give people a hint.

Liz x

Oh but I forgot to add the benefits of these misconceptions...that being "blonde and dumb" is helpful for getting out of speeding tickets and having a high voice is helpful for avoiding telemarketers because they always ask if my mom is home. No she is not!

A side note:

You know how so many personal web logs have that "100 Things About Me" page on them?

A friend of mine the other day had a genius idea, to make a "100 Things Other People Have Said About Me" page.

True or false, that might be interesting.

That I have an eating disorder.

I'm rail-thin and for years people find a way to insinuate that I probably don' t eat as much as I should, ask my slyly if I diet, take medicine that "makes me skinny". Crap like that. It really sucks.

oh god, boopy, I feel your pain. I used to get that all the time when I was at school. I was and still am short and fine-boned, so it was fairly normal for me to be a skinny adolescent, yet people still say they thought I was anorexic at the time. Anyone who knows me well will know how ridiculous that would be, because I LOVE food. I'm obsessive about good food, and couldn't give a stuff about calories and all that diet nonsense. Bah!

Liz x

that i'm dumb/bitchy/weird.

i guess i can be those things but people usually think this because i'm quiet and mumbly and i stutter when i'm nervous. and the things that come out of my mouth when i'm uncomfortable are just...odd.

oh well.

that I'm naive and have boy issues. I think this comes from hanging out with friends that are generally older than me, therefore assuming that I am less experienced and naive. And because I have been known to have a boyfriend/toy most times, its been assumed that I can't be my myself or need a guy. Not true. I think its b/c I can be really insecure that it manifests itself in different ways.

1. That I'm a vegetarian. Nope, I just eat a lot of veggie dishes.

2. (And like rhinokey & boopy) that I have an eating disorder. Nope, I just have a high metabolism.

*steph

that i'm mean.
i get loud when i'm emphatic - and i'm emphatic about most things - and people (mostly my family) think i'm being mean/angry/yelling. i'm not a bad person dammit! i'm just enthusiastic. :/

That I am angry......... I may be serious often but I am not angry. Come to think of it the last few years have kicked serious ass.

That I'm stuck up, judgemental and uneducated.

Not to mention completely not open minded.

Oh yeah and prissy girlie girl

Comes with the territory of being Pentecostal I think.

1. that because i get good grades/am smart/try hard in school i think i'm better than other people, when actually i don't.

2. that because i am a minister's daughter, i am all stuck-up and christian, or that i am going to be a horrible rebel child. truth is, i am me, regardless of my parents' occupations.

A few people, including my husband, told me that when they first met me they mistook my shyness for snobbery?! A lady at my old job said she thought I was quiet because I thought I was better than everyone else?!

Why can't a person just be quiet?

That i'm 'Anti-Men'.

For a long time, i was single and an opinionated feminist, but I was most certainly NOT anti-men. And now that i'm "attached", so to speak, my friends think i've compromised my anti-men/feminist beliefs, because I want to actually 'spend time' (horror of horrors) with my guy. I am still an opinionated feminist, but I have never been 'anti-men'. and i still believe the mantra that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. I wish some of my friends would shove it up their hole.

roxy the feminist

people think i'm snobby too, but i'm just totally shy and reserved...

i also got the impression that people in school thought i was dumb because i never volunteered in class but i got good grades on written assignments, i was just too shy to participate...

Ha! Well... people think I'm a full-blown, "man hating lesbo".

Yess'm.

Why?

Because I have buzzed hair. Yeah. It's still about an inch long, and I'm young.

I am pansexual. I do not just go for every girl I see.

Also... people assume that because I enjoy girls, I will date every single girl that I see. Even if they're straight.

Meaning shoot me. Arrrrf.

Also... people assume I'm stuck up because I'm in the top 15 in my class ranking and I get the leads in the musicals. I'm sorry, am I wearing a sign that says "Hey, I'm way better than you"??? NO. I'm pretty sure that my obviously low self esteem shines out further than any outward desire to succeed.

i remembered another one about me!

i have had more than one of my friends tell me that before they got to know me, they thought they wouldn't like me!

People think I'm quiet; I'm really not, as any of my friends will tell you. I'm shy, or I hate you.

People often think I have a tattoo. I have no idea where this comes from

As well, I'm thought of as really smart, because I read a lot, or really dumb, because I twirl my hair around my finger and swear a lot.

I am supposed to be the "ideal" girl: feminine, smart, don't talk more than she needs to, loves to read, never swears, naive about anything sex-related, etc., straight, someone that makes her parents proud, i'm 12, or 15 years old, at the most, i'm easy to dominate, i cry easy, very sensitive and polite, delicate, bulimic(i used to enter a lot of eating contests, then vomit afterwards, but never on purpose.), not interested in sex, etc.

I think that's why i attract control-freaks. And i am sick of people being yelled at for joking with me becuase i might cry, or be offended.

that i'm more femme than my whoever my gf is at the time because i'm tall, thin, and have blonde hair, blue eyes, and pale skin. for some reason people just read this as feminine even though my gf and i dress in pretty much the exact same way and we're both just androgynous usually.

when i was younger, i used to get the "because you do well in school, you're a huge suck-up, loser, geek, etc" thing. well, i am a geek, but for the rest of it, i just like learning and i can't stand not doing as well as i know i could. luckily now my friends respect me for being intelligent.

what else. yeah, i also get people assuming that i'm really self-confident because i'm a musician and thus perform fairly regularly and because i speak in class. um, maybe you should come and peek around in my brain, have a listen to the zillion voices of self-doubt that talk to my constantly? silliness.