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Topic Random street harassment line #3,864... Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By ladyjane On 09/22/02  

I know that this shouldn't bother me, but it does.

Yesterday I'm walking home from the train stop, and I walk past two guys washing a car. There's the whole "heyy, sexy!" kinda random annoying guy stuff as I walk by (in my black t-shirt & black OVERALLS??? Huh???). OK, they're bored, they're men, OK.

So, I do the typical "walk by head up high as possible and ignore them" tactic.

And one mutters to the other:

"I'd do that one for a dollar."

WHAT! THE! FUUUCK!!! I *almost* let them have it with a barrage of "Excuse me? Do you want someone talking about your momma that way, or your baby sis?"

Pisses me the fuck off. You don't *know* me, asshole. I am just WALKING. You know, two feet, you move?!? WALKING.

Dear God:
I just wanna get to point A to point B with no assholes in between. Is that really too much to ask???

ladyjane, who has taken to wearing big-ass plaid pj bottoms, a big-ass mismatched t-shirt, and not showering, so she can go to the Laundromat in peace...

P.S.: Grrrr...

P.P.S.: It's fucking 2002. We should be fucking *beyond* this shit by now...

***Edited to change "1992" to "2002." See, I'm so pissed off, I don't even know what year it is! *blush*



By zeldie On 09/22/02  

Ugh.
The other day, I was interviewing this man for an article, and he's like, in his 30s, vice president of a bank, all that crap. And we start talking about how I'm from Oklahoma, and how boring it is there. And he says to me, "They grow some pretty good looking women there, though" and starts talking about these two women he knows from Oklahoma and how good looking they are. EXCUSE me?? How is that relevant at all to my life? Asshole.
Men are pigs. I will never understand how the addition of an extra flap of crotch skin and some hair-growing hormones turn human beings into unthinking, insensitive, grunting smelly boars. Bleh.



By token On 09/23/02  

zeldie said...

"Men are pigs. I will never understand how the addition of an extra flap of crotch skin and some hair-growing hormones turn human beings into unthinking, insensitive, grunting smelly boars. Bleh."

Ouch. I'd like to reply with something witty and ascerbic but I have the feeling I'd be outnumbered and you probably never met me anyway. Not all men resemble this fiend you describe.



By SpanishFly On 09/22/02  

That stinks! I'm sorry that happened to you, it's not cool and not acceptable. I really don't understand why guys get off on this.

I recently had to change my route to work to avoid a pigman that sits on the street corner all the time. Every time I walk by, he mutters gross things that are not worth mentioning.

I wish I had an idea of what could possibly stop this kind of awful behavior.

SF



By lottie On 09/22/02  

wait, why _didn't_ you say something? nobody's going to change if you just walk away. if they are definitely making you fear for your safety that's one thing, but if it was just that sleazy vibe without any indication of "i will follow you home" weirdness, i have totally answered back.



By Lola-be On 09/22/02  

I have been having the same problems with a couple of guys that live in my neighborhood. Since they are on my route to school I just ignore them. Well, they moved (yay) what moved in you ask. Two men and a woman. And GET this, the guys didn't say jack when I walked past the other day but the WOMAN DID! I was like what the fuck? How are we supposed to do anything when we are saying the same ignorant shit to eachother to tear eachother down? I wanted to turn around and just go off but what good does that do? It just turns into a "chick fight" and the guys would have loved that more than they loved her calling me a biiioooootccchhh while I was walking by.

When do you deserve to feel safe and unharrassed when you walk down the street? Geez.

L



By ladyjane On 09/22/02  

"wait, why _didn't_ you say something? nobody's going to change if you just walk away." -- lottie.

Well, several reasons...

1) Wanted to get home.

2) Wanted to *not* give them personal satisfaction by acknowledging them.

3) I was so afraid I would go off on them so hard that I'd inspire violence.

4) 2 Black men, 1 white woman. It would have gotten unnecessarily (sp?) "racial" on me, and I dunno if they would have gotten the point.

5) I had the feeling that "would you want someone doing this to your momma?!?" rant would have fallen on deaf ears. Evidently, I'm cute when I'm pissed, sometimes.

6) I had just had a really good day, and I was trying not to let other people's shit spoil my serenity. (Oh, well, I tried.)

7) I thought if I stuck around, one of them might try the whole "I'm sorry, miss" hand-hold thing.

8) Even though I *am* a bitch, I was really not in the mood to stand there and have 2 guys call me a bitch and tell me I'm stuck up, too serious, and not all that anyway.

Argh, gaah. I think I'm gonna go off next time. But, I'll make sure that I see a campus phone nearby, in case some asshole tries anything stupid.



By Hipkitty On 09/23/02  

Good point(s).. hehe
Can i ask a pretty dumb question? what does
(sp?)
mean? i thought it could have meant (spelled properly?) or something but.. im not sure :P



By lottie On 09/23/02  

understood :)



By ladyjane On 09/23/02  

Hipkitty,

(sp?) is essentially "spelled properly?"



By Lacey On 09/23/02  

"have 2 guys call me a bitch and tell me I'm stuck up, too serious"

Yeah! What the fuck is that!
Every time I snap and go off on a guy for saying something gross they say "you are too serious" or "relax and don't be such a bitch".
Like??!?!! WHY can't we win.

Can someone please tell me a good comback for that?

Like the other day I was walking to get something from the hardware store a block away and was wearing a white tank top. So as I'm walking a guy says in an icky voice "thaaaank you maam. he he he." Obviously refering to the fact that it was a hot day and my lack of clothes was making him happy. I said "you are not welcome." and he comes back with the "take a compliment bitch." Then he starts muttering other rude words like "fucking punani bitch whore...you think you are better than me? HA."
At that...I'm never sure what to say because I get so mad that I'd like start calling him names too but I know that's not safe because it's so near to where I live and he looked sketchy!
WHAT can I say to someone like that without starting something violent?





By danielepea On 09/23/02  

A comeback for Lacey: "don't be such an asshole and I won't have to be a bitch."

Although generally I just flat-out ignore whoever it is that is harassing me. Tuning-out their comments wastes a lot less of my time than getting in an arguement. I know it's not the most proactive approach, but it's how I can best deal with it.



By robotgirl On 09/23/02  

one time i told a street harrasser to fuck off and he chased me down the block! luckily he was drunk and not running very fast so i was able to get into my dorm safely, but shit, i was really scared. the satisfaction of telling those assholes off isn't worth it. :(



By annaz On 09/23/02  

yeah, the problem is that if you make a come-back, they either call you a bitch for not accepting a "compliment", or they act like it's a turn on--"we gotta feisty one here! woo-hoo!"

what i've always wondered is if these guys ever get any positive reactions from women they do this to--or if they only get positive reactions from guys who egg them on, and then they feel all manly. i mean, in their little brains, do they really, honestly expect us to appreciate their comments?? i expect it's only to make themselves feel macho, but i still don't really understand the motivation.

isn't it a similar situation when you're out dancing with friends and some guy comes up and just grabs you and starts dancing with you as if it were his right? grrrr... and then if you say you're not interested, they'll insult you or assume that you're in a bad mood: "why aren't you having any fun??"



By starxduzt On 09/23/02  

Some women actually like having those types of comments throw at them. I've seen it happen and I felt disgusted. Some guy did a cat-call at some girl walking down the street and said he'd like to get with that. All she did was giggle and smile and keep walking. I didn't understand it but I guess if your self-esteem is low enough you like that attention. It's like those girls dressed all 80's stripper style on Jenny Jones. They talk about how they stop work at construction sites and always have guys making comments like their proud of it.

-Lexi who admittedly watches trashy talk shows ;)



By randomgirl On 09/23/02  

You're so right Lexi, how some women like to hear these comments. I'll come home ranting about guys harrassing me on the streets and my roommates will be like, "I wish that happened to me more," and "You should be flattered." It doesn't make me feel good, it makes me feel like I'm nothing more than my body and maybe a pretty face. I hate that everyone feels like that's all you need to be if you're female. The highest aspiration of most of the girls I know is to be just like Britney Spears and have men drooling over you and fantasizing about wanting to have sex with you.



By charming On 09/24/02  

in the movies the woman have witty, strong self-actualized come backs!

(I can't remember the title) with Julia Roberts, Hugh Grant- she's a movie star,over hears some morons being personally derogatory about her-
Hugh Grant's character says something sort of innane to the table of men, she starts to walk away- then she goes back and says something about their not meaning to be rude etc... and then she says and besides- you probably all have dicks the size of peanuts!

of course that was a movie... but we can all imagine-

the only time I had a come back that actually was effective was-

in High School working at a restaurant and my boss was a little sleeeeazzz- he made little comments and inuendoes to the female workers and hang out with the guys snickering and staring etc...

one night I had all of his crap I could take but,
I really needed my job so I decided to try to embarrass him-

the next time he made a comment I responded:

you know Lonnie, we could do what you want...
but you wouldn't like it...
because I would just lay there and laugh at you!

the "boys" laughed at him, he stopped making comments... they stopped also,they didn't want to be the next laughed at.

but that was a long time ago & I don't know if it would make these idiots today humiliated or angry.




By moon5280 On 09/24/02  

actually, whenever a guy makes a comment to me, i like to strip, on the spot....i feel that they earned it. (i'm just kidding, obviously, but you never know typing shit.) every time some guy does something despicable like that, i always think of that le tigre song "on guard"........


you know what makes me feel super dirty? there are TONS of guys like my dad's age and older who insist on staring at me, making comments and shit but at least i can say that it does make me really proud that i know my dad would NEVER EVER do that........i just feel like, are you actually serious?

i mean, do people ACTUALLY start relationships like this? does anyone ever hear an old couple being like:
woman--"well, as soon as he yelled out with his friends that i was one hot-lookin' pussy, i don't know, i just knew how SPECIAL he was. it was love at first sight. *sigh*"
man--"i thank god every day i had the foresight to pay her such a nice compliment."

it makes me dread even walking to the video store.......i hate giving them the power of ruining my day.



By jillybean On 09/25/02  

i had not the same, but on the same note junk happen to me this morning.
Super smelly janitor man at work who cleans our floors come up to Guest Services while I"m 'obviously' doing work, says,
"Hey beautiful, how's your day?"
"Fine, and you?" still staring at computer
"I said, Hello Beautiful! Quit staring at that screen and show me your pretty face!"
"Excuse me? I"m working, you obviously are not"
"What the fuck? I just want to you stand there and look pretty for a poor old man, is that all to ask?" wtf???????
"Well, excuse me, I just want to work in peace and get paid for being in a great job, not a janitors eye candy" barf.



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